I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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