I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The feeling are messing with the penis
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
