I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
