Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
