I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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