Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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