but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
