Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
