Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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