I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
