Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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