his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
