I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
