ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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