Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
