What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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