Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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