Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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