wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
