Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
