The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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