Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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