She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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