I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
