Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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