guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
