He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
