how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
