that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize