She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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