oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
