is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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