Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
