So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Houston, we have a blender
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
