I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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