let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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