Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
