your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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