im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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