I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
