Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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