Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize