Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize