I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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