You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
