Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
