talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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