pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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