And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
