Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
