But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
