As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
