ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
