i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
