that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize