the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize