thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
