ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
