But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
