no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If its not for food we ain't going out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
