There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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