PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
