Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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